Seeing The Beauty That Stands Before Us
This afternoon I was feeling completely drained and exhausted from having to get up with the baby in the middle of the night. I was also bummed out because the weather has been so hot lately that going outside has just not been not an option. We were stuck in the house all day and the baby was getting really bored and cranky. I found myself longing for the day to be over with. Everything began to feel like a burden, and the guilt around feeling that towards the baby was weighing me down even more. I noticed that my craving to have chocolate or something sweet began to take over the space. I even went and had a few squares of dark chocolate. Still, not satisfied of course, so I sat on the floor and let it all run through me. I breathed deeply and allowed it all - the 24 hour need that my little girl has for me, being sleep deprived, having to deal with 100 degree humid weather, feeling like I have nothing more to give and so on.
I just kept breathing and allowing all of this to run through while I sat gazing at my little love, who was avidly flipping through the pages of one of her books. I became aware of the way she was breathing and making these cute little grunt noises when she couldn't get the page to turn. She was so darn determined and curious about it all. Before I knew it, tears of love and joy for this precious little being was overflowing in me. The feelings of dread and longing dissolved and I was washed away by the present moment. The brilliance and sweetness of it. I was left with deep gratitude for all of it. Even for the waves of longing to be out of the moment that sweetly reminded me of what is real.
I sat there beaming with love for my baby girl. How special that we could share in this moment together. That I am able to stay at home with her and be so intimately involved in her life. What a gift. It's so natural to get overwhelmed by the demands of life or when things aren't flowing the way we hope. That's all just a part of being human. It's when we lose sight of what is real that life appears to be so problematic. The sacred gets overlooked because we don't stop to take a deeper look at what is before us. It is always here, appearing exactly as it Is. And there is always the invitation to embrace it and feel the beauty stands before us.
I just kept breathing and allowing all of this to run through while I sat gazing at my little love, who was avidly flipping through the pages of one of her books. I became aware of the way she was breathing and making these cute little grunt noises when she couldn't get the page to turn. She was so darn determined and curious about it all. Before I knew it, tears of love and joy for this precious little being was overflowing in me. The feelings of dread and longing dissolved and I was washed away by the present moment. The brilliance and sweetness of it. I was left with deep gratitude for all of it. Even for the waves of longing to be out of the moment that sweetly reminded me of what is real.
I sat there beaming with love for my baby girl. How special that we could share in this moment together. That I am able to stay at home with her and be so intimately involved in her life. What a gift. It's so natural to get overwhelmed by the demands of life or when things aren't flowing the way we hope. That's all just a part of being human. It's when we lose sight of what is real that life appears to be so problematic. The sacred gets overlooked because we don't stop to take a deeper look at what is before us. It is always here, appearing exactly as it Is. And there is always the invitation to embrace it and feel the beauty stands before us.
Comments
Post a Comment