Conscious Partnership - Listen To Your Body
For the past decade, I have been embracing the wisdom of the body and it has been showing me very directly where I hold on and avoid deeper intimacy with my own self and therefore my relationships. The sacred container for this unfolding has been mainly in my intimate partnership with my husband, Chris. Through our conscious partnering we have encountered some of the most difficult places and have been shown over and over by our bodies that when we relax, it directly affects the way we think and feel in the moment.
Let me give you an example. When I am starting to feel uncomfortable or upset with my husband, I begin to notice how my body is reacting to the difficulty. I may feel tightness in my jaw.
Once I locate this tightness, I breathe into it and see if I am able to soften and relax my jaw. The body is an extension of our thoughts and can reveal the way we are shielding ourselves from what life is offering us in the moment. So, if I feel threatened and am afraid of what my partner might say, it may manifest as a tight, clenched jaw.
By letting a breath come in and soften me, I have a chance to receive the information from a more spacious place and respond from there. As I continue to let my guard down, I am able to help my husband see that he, too is holding excess tension in his body (however it is appearing in him in the moment). The goal is not to be free of excess tension "one day", it is simply an opportunity to soften our stance to see what else might come forth. Arguing about the details of a story can only take you so far. So what if he's right or I'm wrong - in the end, do we feel fed by each other's energy or awakened to greater possibilities? The juice is in the unknown, so when we take off our armor we don't know what is going to happen. Sometimes we get even more upset with each other, but even that is allowed to move and can offer helpful insight. Our willingness to risk everything and be vulnerable, no matter what, has kept our connection alive and bursting with intimacy over the years.
When I soften and feel my unguarded heart, my communication with my partner is quite powerful. We still might be talking about something that is hard to share, but the threat and fear of not being seen or heard is no longer dominating our conversation. It dissolves when we admit that this has been happening and drops us into this open, intimate rawness with each other. In this place there is realness and honesty. I can tell him something when I have my guard up and he won't be able to hear me, but when I relax my shield, I may say the exact same thing, and I'll get an entirely different response back. This happens because vulnerability is much more magnetic and powerful than the protected, fearful stance. It is the opposite of what we've been conditioned to believe. Vulnerability is our greatest strength. The more we relax into our true nature the less threatening life circumstances become and the more available we are to participate from a place of real power.
Our bodies are always offering deeper intimacy with this unknowable Source that is living all of us. When we start to pay attention to the messages they are sending, we have a chance to experience something new and can respond to life from a whole different point of view.
Let me give you an example. When I am starting to feel uncomfortable or upset with my husband, I begin to notice how my body is reacting to the difficulty. I may feel tightness in my jaw.
Once I locate this tightness, I breathe into it and see if I am able to soften and relax my jaw. The body is an extension of our thoughts and can reveal the way we are shielding ourselves from what life is offering us in the moment. So, if I feel threatened and am afraid of what my partner might say, it may manifest as a tight, clenched jaw.
By letting a breath come in and soften me, I have a chance to receive the information from a more spacious place and respond from there. As I continue to let my guard down, I am able to help my husband see that he, too is holding excess tension in his body (however it is appearing in him in the moment). The goal is not to be free of excess tension "one day", it is simply an opportunity to soften our stance to see what else might come forth. Arguing about the details of a story can only take you so far. So what if he's right or I'm wrong - in the end, do we feel fed by each other's energy or awakened to greater possibilities? The juice is in the unknown, so when we take off our armor we don't know what is going to happen. Sometimes we get even more upset with each other, but even that is allowed to move and can offer helpful insight. Our willingness to risk everything and be vulnerable, no matter what, has kept our connection alive and bursting with intimacy over the years.
When I soften and feel my unguarded heart, my communication with my partner is quite powerful. We still might be talking about something that is hard to share, but the threat and fear of not being seen or heard is no longer dominating our conversation. It dissolves when we admit that this has been happening and drops us into this open, intimate rawness with each other. In this place there is realness and honesty. I can tell him something when I have my guard up and he won't be able to hear me, but when I relax my shield, I may say the exact same thing, and I'll get an entirely different response back. This happens because vulnerability is much more magnetic and powerful than the protected, fearful stance. It is the opposite of what we've been conditioned to believe. Vulnerability is our greatest strength. The more we relax into our true nature the less threatening life circumstances become and the more available we are to participate from a place of real power.
Our bodies are always offering deeper intimacy with this unknowable Source that is living all of us. When we start to pay attention to the messages they are sending, we have a chance to experience something new and can respond to life from a whole different point of view.
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