There is no final destination, there is only This and ever more
The greatest suffering that we experience is thinking that we are a separate self working to reach some final destination that will make us feel worthy and whole, once and for all. This is so hard wired in us, that even when we begin a spiritual path, that is what is ultimately driving us. This sense of "not good enough as we are" is a belief that is so deeply rooted into our consciousness that we can not know it is a belief until we see it with our own eyes.
Until this happens, we will continue to chase after whatever that "next thing" is...be it a better job, the perfect relationship, or enlightenment. Fill in the blank because it's all the same in the end. You see, there is no magic something that can make us whole one day because we are whole within and as the brokenness and just don't know it.
There is something that happens when the desire to escape this place disappears. It is the most ordinary, non-spiritual (from the point of view of the mind) kind of experience. You are just here exactly as you are. All of your imperfections are present and there is just the sense that it's all okay as it is. I hesitate to even write that down because I know how the mind can interpret this confession. When I say it's all okay as it is, I mean, it really is all okay exactly as it is….my experience is not void of ego, difficulty or resistance…I am just not fighting against that in the way I used to be. There is an underlying yes to it all, even amidst great challenges and difficulties. My whole search was about trying to get to a place where I was free of all the difficulty that my life was manifesting as. I felt like if I could reach a state of "perfection" where I was purified of all my karma and unenlightened stuff, then and only then I would be free. But this turned out to be the ultimate escape of really being here and embodying my essential nature.
The real freedom came when I stopped running from all the parts of myself that felt "unenlightened"…the parts that threatened my "very spiritual sense of self." It was then that I felt in complete unity with the Universe, God, myself and all of life. This "enlightened self" that I had so desperately been searching for burst like a bubble and was gone, just like that….never to return. The war within myself was put to rest and I found Home.
We are all just a process that is eternally unfolding into Itself. The freedom is realizing this and learning how to dance right where you are, no matter what circumstance arises. There is no final destination, there is only This and ever more.
Until this happens, we will continue to chase after whatever that "next thing" is...be it a better job, the perfect relationship, or enlightenment. Fill in the blank because it's all the same in the end. You see, there is no magic something that can make us whole one day because we are whole within and as the brokenness and just don't know it.
There is something that happens when the desire to escape this place disappears. It is the most ordinary, non-spiritual (from the point of view of the mind) kind of experience. You are just here exactly as you are. All of your imperfections are present and there is just the sense that it's all okay as it is. I hesitate to even write that down because I know how the mind can interpret this confession. When I say it's all okay as it is, I mean, it really is all okay exactly as it is….my experience is not void of ego, difficulty or resistance…I am just not fighting against that in the way I used to be. There is an underlying yes to it all, even amidst great challenges and difficulties. My whole search was about trying to get to a place where I was free of all the difficulty that my life was manifesting as. I felt like if I could reach a state of "perfection" where I was purified of all my karma and unenlightened stuff, then and only then I would be free. But this turned out to be the ultimate escape of really being here and embodying my essential nature.
The real freedom came when I stopped running from all the parts of myself that felt "unenlightened"…the parts that threatened my "very spiritual sense of self." It was then that I felt in complete unity with the Universe, God, myself and all of life. This "enlightened self" that I had so desperately been searching for burst like a bubble and was gone, just like that….never to return. The war within myself was put to rest and I found Home.
We are all just a process that is eternally unfolding into Itself. The freedom is realizing this and learning how to dance right where you are, no matter what circumstance arises. There is no final destination, there is only This and ever more.
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