The Deepest Intelligence is Found in the Mess
The way awakening impacts our relationships is that there is the ability to stay through all the messiness of human relating and go deep into all the crevices. When all the pain caused by our relational wounding comes boiling up to a heated pitch, there is an unwavering presence anchored deep within all of the swirling waves of emotions. This presence stays through all the discomfort and allows the full and free dance of these energies. It does not distance itself away from the pain in any way. It has laser vision and shines light right in the center of righteousness, judgement, jealously, disdain and anger. When this happens, we cannot help but to yield and listen to the deeper call of the heart where what we are truly experiencing in our relationships can be shared from greater intelligence, love and connection.
Most spiritual seekers have the mindset that once we awaken our relationships and life shouldn't look messy anymore. This is just how the mind perceives awakening. It's akin to the "happily ever after story" that we are conditioned to believe in when we are kids. It's not to say that awakening doesn't radically shift our life and that we don't experience the kind of intimacy and connection we've always dreamed of....we do! And it's even better than what we dreamed of because it is real…but it's just not what the conditioned mind registers as enjoyment or happiness.
Awakening is not some nice, neat event that you achieve or that makes you feel good all the time. It's truly the end of your world as you know it. It will strip you of every belief and dream you ever had. It will turn you inside out where there is nowhere left to hide. It will fully expose all your tricks of the trade, all the many ways you have been saying no, resisting to live what really matters in the deepest sense. This is experienced as great freedom and profound joy when you are surrendered to this process of endless transformation and deepening into the Heart. Even amidst the times of greatest pain and challenges, you will feel a deep sense of relief and trust in the unfolding. But if you are holding onto a fixed sense of self and how things 'should be', this will be extraordinarily difficult, and you will find ways to avoid this process with all your might. You will keep looking for an easy way out that will maintain the sense of self that you have, even if you are miserable. This is just how most people tend to exist: they would rather take refuge in their beliefs than plunge into the truth.
But the call for deeper intimacy and connection is imminent on this planet. We must be willing to question our beliefs and come to know ourselves more deeply. We must be willing to go into the mess of our relationships and take refuge in the deeper truth. There is always more light, love and connection to be discovered but until you are willing to take that risk of going beyond your comfort zone you will feel bereft of love on a fundamental level. This is a choice that is completely in your hands and only you can do it in the end.
You will feel like you are going against the grain, but do it anyway. And find others that are like-minded who will practice this kind of vulnerability and realness within your relationships. There is nothing more helpful than practicing together in conscious partnership or community, where everyone has the same intention and agreements. This is how all the lies and stories that keep us feeling separate from one another get seen and flushed out. This is how we can meet more deeply than ever before and embody the love that dwells deep within all our hearts.
Most spiritual seekers have the mindset that once we awaken our relationships and life shouldn't look messy anymore. This is just how the mind perceives awakening. It's akin to the "happily ever after story" that we are conditioned to believe in when we are kids. It's not to say that awakening doesn't radically shift our life and that we don't experience the kind of intimacy and connection we've always dreamed of....we do! And it's even better than what we dreamed of because it is real…but it's just not what the conditioned mind registers as enjoyment or happiness.
Awakening is not some nice, neat event that you achieve or that makes you feel good all the time. It's truly the end of your world as you know it. It will strip you of every belief and dream you ever had. It will turn you inside out where there is nowhere left to hide. It will fully expose all your tricks of the trade, all the many ways you have been saying no, resisting to live what really matters in the deepest sense. This is experienced as great freedom and profound joy when you are surrendered to this process of endless transformation and deepening into the Heart. Even amidst the times of greatest pain and challenges, you will feel a deep sense of relief and trust in the unfolding. But if you are holding onto a fixed sense of self and how things 'should be', this will be extraordinarily difficult, and you will find ways to avoid this process with all your might. You will keep looking for an easy way out that will maintain the sense of self that you have, even if you are miserable. This is just how most people tend to exist: they would rather take refuge in their beliefs than plunge into the truth.
But the call for deeper intimacy and connection is imminent on this planet. We must be willing to question our beliefs and come to know ourselves more deeply. We must be willing to go into the mess of our relationships and take refuge in the deeper truth. There is always more light, love and connection to be discovered but until you are willing to take that risk of going beyond your comfort zone you will feel bereft of love on a fundamental level. This is a choice that is completely in your hands and only you can do it in the end.
You will feel like you are going against the grain, but do it anyway. And find others that are like-minded who will practice this kind of vulnerability and realness within your relationships. There is nothing more helpful than practicing together in conscious partnership or community, where everyone has the same intention and agreements. This is how all the lies and stories that keep us feeling separate from one another get seen and flushed out. This is how we can meet more deeply than ever before and embody the love that dwells deep within all our hearts.
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