Your Heart Is The Way
Feel into a time where you are struggling to complete a task that is difficult or maybe a time when you are having a hard conversation with your intimate partner. What happens if you stay with your discomfort instead of avoiding it? Can you feel that place where everything in you wants to turn away because it feels impossible? This especially can happen when we are in an argument with our intimate partners. Feel that place where neither one of you will budge. It seems easier to just cut off emotionally than avoid feeling the pain of not being heard or knowing how to reconnect.
It feels like the only solution is to suppress or manage the deep feelings of frustration, despair and longing for deeper connection in your life. Often times, even meditation and spirituality can be used as a way to avoid these deep feelings. But sooner or later life will give you the perfect situation to open your eyes to the beauty of your humanity, where all emotions are experienced and seen as great teachers and agents of your own heart.
The only thing keeping the sense of disconnection alive in your life is the belief that you should not be experiencing what you are feeling. The thought runs through your mind that "if I was in the right relationship I wouldn't have to feel the pain of not being seen" or "if only I was enlightened I would not feel sorrow anymore". We attach to these ideas and then live our lives constantly chasing after some carrot that we never end up really tasting. We never really let ourselves be here fully, exactly as we are because we are in a constant state of trying to change our present experience. We are starved for intimacy and connection, but never slow down long enough to drink in the tenderness of the moment, however it is appearing as.
If it's appearing as impossibility, then drink that in and see what happens. Real intimacy is not about bypassing any state to get to the "happy state". It's about feeling your way through it; all the way as each wave moves through. Frustration bursts through, then fear, then sadness, hopelessness, forgiveness, gratitude, joy and so on. Trust the nature of your heart. If you feel hurt, allow that to come to the surface and feel it deeply. Your heart knows the way through all of these waves of energy moving through, and actually finds deep pleasure in feeling them. Fall in love with your own vulnerability. It's when you protect your heart that you stop life from radiating through you as love.
It feels like the only solution is to suppress or manage the deep feelings of frustration, despair and longing for deeper connection in your life. Often times, even meditation and spirituality can be used as a way to avoid these deep feelings. But sooner or later life will give you the perfect situation to open your eyes to the beauty of your humanity, where all emotions are experienced and seen as great teachers and agents of your own heart.
The only thing keeping the sense of disconnection alive in your life is the belief that you should not be experiencing what you are feeling. The thought runs through your mind that "if I was in the right relationship I wouldn't have to feel the pain of not being seen" or "if only I was enlightened I would not feel sorrow anymore". We attach to these ideas and then live our lives constantly chasing after some carrot that we never end up really tasting. We never really let ourselves be here fully, exactly as we are because we are in a constant state of trying to change our present experience. We are starved for intimacy and connection, but never slow down long enough to drink in the tenderness of the moment, however it is appearing as.
If it's appearing as impossibility, then drink that in and see what happens. Real intimacy is not about bypassing any state to get to the "happy state". It's about feeling your way through it; all the way as each wave moves through. Frustration bursts through, then fear, then sadness, hopelessness, forgiveness, gratitude, joy and so on. Trust the nature of your heart. If you feel hurt, allow that to come to the surface and feel it deeply. Your heart knows the way through all of these waves of energy moving through, and actually finds deep pleasure in feeling them. Fall in love with your own vulnerability. It's when you protect your heart that you stop life from radiating through you as love.
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